Eyes Wide Open For The First time

I just feel like sharing this with you all. I have been having these aha moments lately. Like big aha moments...moments that I probably would have gotten sooner had I done the action. No regrets though it is what is and it takes what it takes and I am enjoying it now. I know you all have heard this and have all experienced it. We got sober together and I want to share this with you. Where Bill writes sometimes quickly sometimes slowly Well I thought the quickly was for you and the slowly was for me. I mean come on I have been here since 1995 trying to do this thing. I was thinking was unique....Bull shit I just did not want to, couldn't, whatever, the reason was there was no action on my part. I got sober with all of you and you did the action and the result was you got it quickly and now I am getting it. It might be slowly and I'm good with that because i am understanding it for the first time. I went back out long before I took the first drink or pill. The reason? Same old reason I wanted to change the way I felt. So I went back out and it is still no good out there and i have 37 day sober. This is how:
Every day I have calling my sponsor, three other alcoholics, going to meetings, reading the big book, started a big book study, started reworking my steps, meditating and reading my spiritual books,and journalling on everything. Well after about two weeks of meditating and reading and asking for willingness to be willing and for the wisdom to do the next right thing and for God to direct my thoughts and actions to be who he wants me to be, not this rebellious child, I get a thought direct from Him to me, "Stop trying to change the way you feel and just BE! Accept the feelings good or bad right now this minute for exactly what they are, because these too shall pass. Now I know that I have heard that before I have been told that before I have read that before, but it did not mean anything at the time because I do not remember hearing it. For the first time I am really able to feel some emotions that I am experiencing and explain them to another person. There is just so much more and it is really late: hungry, tired, loney.... What i am really tring to say is that I am participating in my sobriety today and it feels great!!!